Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

Tomorrow America celebrates the peaceful passing of one leader to another. No matter how we feel about the current President or the incoming President, the leadership transition is done without bloodshed and it is only tears that are shed. Tears of those who rejoice in new President and the tears of those who see the damages to the American people this President and Congress will do.

Tomorrow, BO will be giving a speech that is said to be soaring in rhetoric and will go down in history as one of the greatest speeches given. Do you know that I helped BO write it? Yeah, there is this handy Inauguration Speech Generator. This has apparently been very helpful to the Obama speech-writing process, so have at it if you wish. Here's my go at it:

My fellow Americans, today is a silly day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "finger", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually piss.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces grossly and wrinkled challenges like never before. Our economy is dry. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for diapers. Our healthcare system is orange. If your elbow is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a dentists. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a rock rope. But fishing together we can right this ship, and set a course for mountain.

Finally, I must thank my slowly family, my yellow campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank mothers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of melting the American people. Without your soft efforts, none of this would have been possible.